my daughter got new glasses yesterday. she went to a hockey game tonight and when she got home, she said she was amazed that she could see the names on the players' jerseys. she was just so excited! she's realizing that there are new possibilities for her now that she can see.
i feel like that when i realize i can laugh and smile and have a good time without alcohol. when i hear myself laugh, i am almost surprized that the noise coming from my body is a good sound, and not a moan or a grunt. it's a good feeling!
this morning was a slow, and difficult morning. my daughter had a doctor appt. and the last time we saw this doctor, we were in and out in half an hour. not today. an hour and 15 min later, we were out of there. after getting her back to school, there was no time to go to the bible study meeting. i was dressed in my gym attire, so i drove there instead.
now here is where it gets weird for me. i sat outside of the gym in my car for 20 minutes having a conversation in my head "do i go in? i'm already here. i'm so tired. i forgot to bring a water. i wore the underweat that slide up my butt with too much movement. i just plain, old, don't want to do it".
i could hear a friend of mine's voice in my head cheering me on "you can do it! you will feel so good after!"
i suppose i could have turned the music up in my car to drown out her voice, but i didn't. i fianlly dragged myself in there and did it!
yes, i was glad i did it. really glad, and they sold me a water so i wasn't even thirsty.
in the old days, i would have thought "screw it! i can drink away all the guilt feelings of not going!" but i didn't.
listening is new for me. thanks A, for the encouragement!
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